I was reading an article on a popular men’s site that said women don’t like “nice” guys, that being nice will keep you forever stuck in the “friend” category. I don’t know what was more alarming; the fact that a lot of guys have the potential to take the advice or the fact that a woman wrote the article. Nice guys don’t seem like they can defend women, she said. They’re too predictable. Nice guys seem fake. They don’t seem like good lays. “Nice guys put women on a pedestal, acting as if she’s some sort of goddess.” And the problem with this is?
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I don’t recall the last time I was in hand-to-hand combat, and weird 1950s notions of masculinity aside, why do you think he needs to safeguard your well-being? Two words for you: Amy Winehouse. Nobody can protect you from yourself.
Besides, do you really think some guy schooled in the art of “douchebaggery” is going to protect you? He doesn’t even like you. You’re one of several chicks in his blackberry and even if you were on a date and the restaurant was burning down, the only person he’s getting to the sidewalk is himself.
And let’s be clear, nice and martyr aren’t synonyms. Just because a guy is nice doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a strong sense of himself or backbone. It takes real strength of character and maturity not to fly off the handle and to treat people well, especially when they’re acting like an a**.
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As for nice guys not being good in the sack, I’m a little confused about the logic here. In my experience, if his goal is to please you, that’s going to reap a whole lot of benefits when he heads south.
“You teach people how to treat you,” she says, which is the only part of the article I completely agree with. So what do you think a woman who says she doesn’t want a man who is sensitive, who calls when he says he going to call, who surprises her with flowers and who pays attention to her feelings teaching a man ― except she’s crazy.
Take a look at the dictionary. Being nice means, he’s polite, kind and exacting in his requirements or standards, qualities that most of the women I know — the grown-up ones anyway — find highly desirable.
What do you think? Do nice guys finish last? What's your definition of too nice?