Your Guy Has A Female Best Friend: Are You Okay With It?


(Featured on Yahoo’s Shine, Love + Sex Main Feature, Editor’s Pick Love + Sex and Single-Woman.TV, 317 comments) It’s the same old question, can men and women really be friends?

I once knew a couple who had trouble around the issue of his female best friend.  He had been friends with her since they were 15, and the girlfriend was just over a year into her relationship with him.

The best friend started to become jealous of his new relationship.  The girlfriend was jealous of his friendship but when push came to shove, the guy told his girlfriend he was not willing to give up his female best friend.

That is, until he got married.

Years later, when the same guy married the girlfriend, and when his now wife got pregnant – and hormone crazed -- she made sure his best friend was kicked to the curb.  In fact, many of the female friends of said guy that she used to tolerate were replaced with safe couples – myself included.

Although it's pretty sad, I can’t say I blame her.

I’m always miffed by married men who have female best friends.  Isn’t that who your wife is supposed to be?  I think having someone of the opposite sex to lean on – unless it’s a sibling -- is an unnecessary temptation and a potential leak of intimacy between partners.

My friend J – a man married for almost two decades – says that it’s “a lot of pressure on a relationship for a woman to be everything to a man.”  He has many female friends.  I don’t know his wife, so I can’t speak to her position on the matter, but maybe that’s why they’ve been married so long; she has space to be who she needs to be?

What do you think?  Does your guy have a female best friend?  Are you okay with it?

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